you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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