What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
