Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
