she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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