Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
