hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
