worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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