Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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