I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
