She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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