i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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