I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
