shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
