I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
