put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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