you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize