The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
