Can i not drive my cunt home
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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