I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
