we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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