we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
