Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
