Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
