I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
