have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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