I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
