I wish I could teleport
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We had sex on a dog bed..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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