I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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