He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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