So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
