I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
