Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize