do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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