I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
