I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
