wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
pray to the hookup gods
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
