people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
