He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize