some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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