I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize