I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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