Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Actions speak louder than pants.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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