Do vagina's smell?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
