Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
