im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
