so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize