New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
