He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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