He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
handjob tips. give me some.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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