my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
