I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
