My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
