allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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