He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
