drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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