so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
