Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
