he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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