Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

This girl wants me to lick her pits

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

pits??

(402): View more from Nebraska

Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though

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(917): View more from New York City

she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in

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(501): View more from Arkansas

These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.

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(+61): View more from Australia

On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety

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(905): View more from Ontario

I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.

(213): View more from California

I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.

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