I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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