I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
