so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
