I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
