is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
