Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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