why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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