Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
