I wish I only lived at night.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
