After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
