How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
