You just made me feel so damn special
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
