D3 body, D1 cock
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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