I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
too bad you live with your parents still
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He has the fingertips of a God
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