Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
