the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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