he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
