I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
