can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
