And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
