i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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